Nikah is a very sacred bond between a man and a woman. It’s a very important decision in one’s life, and the following things will help you to navigate through the decision-making process. Our only intention in formulating this is to provide you with a basic guideline to prepare you for Nikah. We wanted to make sure that you are in the right mindset to take a proper decision before entering this sacred bond.
1. Getting rid of bad habits.
2. Enhance the attitude of forgiveness, patience, and respect for fellow beings (elders, youngsters, male and females).
3. Inculcate the habit of inclusivity, appreciation, and encouragement.
4. We need to ensure we are happy and content with ourselves. This will manifest a radiant energy around you, creating an environment of happiness and tranquility.
Marriage is an institution comprising of many faculties. One of the fundamental elements in marriage is effective communication. For a blossoming relationship understanding your partners physical, psychological and emotional centres is the key. Every individual has a certain expectation from their partner, which may be different for both individuals. Gary Chapman, Ph.D , a marriage counsellor published his findings in 1992 in his book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”. He found that in a troubled relationship, both the partners express their love to their spouse, but often it’s not the preferred form of love expression for their partner, leading to conflicts. He classified the expression of love into 5 broad categories:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical touch
3. Acts of service
4. Quality time
5. Receiving gifts
1. Words of Affirmation
These people like to be communicated verbally or via social media /text messages with words of Appreciation/ encouragement/ support / expression of love (I love you)
2. Physical touch
Touch, cuddling, hugs, kissing and physical intimacy are the key elements which make them feel loved, appreciated and protected.
3. Acts of service
People with Act of Service feel loved when their partner does some work for them, like making their favourite food, serving them some drinks when they are back from work, helping them in their work. They love if their partner understands and wants to share their dream of life with them.
4. Quality time
These people demand your undivided attention. They want you to be an active listener and patiently communicate with them. They need more frequent outings and personal time with you.
5. Gifts
These people feel loved only if they receive gifts on a regular basis. They don’t expect you to give expensive things, they appreciate any form of meaningful gift. It acts as a token of appreciation and gives them the feeling of being loved.
1. Improve your relationship with your close family members and elders.
2. Develop a culture of love, respect, humility, gratitude and forgiveness.
3. Respect the difference of opinion among your family and friends.
4. Be mindful/respectful of ideological differences between elder and younger members of the family.
Islam advocates the benefits of marriage. Many people are gravely concerned about the financial conditions to get married, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, marriage has such blessings that will increase the means of sustenance and Allah (SWT) provides the means of sustenance for the additional person. The bride’s family should discuss with the groom’s family about the financial standing and be comfortable with it.
We have studied many relationships and the challenges faced by the families and the spouses in this ever-changing modern times. We have formulated some things to reflect on, which may rule out the post-marriage problems. Please be MINDFUL and go through the list.
I know I am eligible if...
1. Replace 'my way or highway' attitude with mutual respect.
2. Be patient and forgive each other.
3. Avoid arguments and develop trust.
4. I don’t value material things over relationships.
5. I give my spouse the space he needs and not constantly monitoring every aspect of his life.
6. I try to be God-conscious in my life, to the best of my ability.
7. I am willing to learn and grow, work on my negative habits, and accept my mistakes with humility.
Note: Women have a natural monthly cycle that they go through, and it is so interesting to know that different stages of the cycle has different spiritual states. It is advised NOT to perform ISTIKHARA prayer when you are in the OVULATION PHASE. The hormonal changes may interfere with your decision-making ability.
I know I am eligible if...
1. Replace 'my way or highway' attitude with mutual respect.
2. I have a source of halal income and can provide for my family.
3. Male chauvinism does not dominate me.
4. I will be patient and forgive each other.
5. I will avoid arguments and develop trust.
6. I don’t de-value women to a maid or cook.
7. I intend to share household chores/responsibilities to the best of my ability.
8. I don’t value material things over relationships.
9. I try to be God-conscious in my life, to the best of my ability.
10. I am willing to learn and grow, work on my negative habits, and accept my mistakes with humility.
Marriage is a beautiful phenomenon, its not just the unification of a male and female, but its amalgamation of two families. Hence, it becomes more important to maintain the connectivity, adaptability and minimise the friction. It becomes the responsibility of every individual to strive towards achieving harmony in the family.
The harmony in the family catalyses the association between spouses and strengthens the relationship of wife and husband.
The elders/parent should give some personal space to the newly wed couples and gives them the opportunity to understand each other better.
The above guidelines are the basic minimal rules to have a healthy and prosperous relationship. We strongly recommend these qualities to be acquired and implemented in your lives before binding into a nikah.
Sincerely,
Sufi nikah team.
Getting married, the completion of Deen is a crucial decision one must take in life. It is a well debated topic among the youth. Let’s honestly ask ourselves, is the search for the perfect life partner very difficult or we are making it more difficult on ourselves by setting up too high of parameters/ expectations?
We all are human beings with the tendency to commit sins knowingly or unknowingly of different degrees depending up on the individual.
Always remember, Allah SWT loves to forgive you once you approach him with sincere heart for repentance.
Ask Allah SWT with a sincere heart and do istakhara, accept what he gives wholeheartedly and make dua that he blesses you both with baraka and Mohabbah We do not have the right to challenge his decisions.
If once dua is accepted for his right intentions, then we should thank Him (SWT) for making us ask what he decreed on us.
I am getting married for the love of Allah SWT and to abide by the sunnah of our beloved Prophet (PBUH) and prevent myself from falling into the haram/illicit relationships.
I make intention to have pious children and raise them to the best of our ability to be the reflection of the teachings of the holy Prophet (PBUH)
I intent to fulfil my sexual desire in a lawful manner with my wife/husband, enjoying each other in accordance to the Islamic law.
The fulfilment of the desire removes my beasty distraction and I make sincere intention that Allah SWT increase my focus in prayers.
I intend to encourage each other, strive hard to attain closeness to Allah SWT and try to abide by the Sunnah of our Holy Prophet (PBUH)
I ask Allah SWT and his Habib SWS to bless us with his Rehma and instill love, respect and baraka in our families…Ameen
Etiquette of approaching the family of bride and groom, things to consider
It’s best practice to involve the elders of the family especially parents/ relatives/elders or friends and in their absence any respected member from your community like the imam/community leaders.
The elders will serve as your representatives, serve as a good reference for you and they can enquire more via the references they get from the bride/groom’s family.
Sending any representative doesn’t mean that you must accept their decision. It’s totally up to your choice to take the final decision.
Its important to make a thorough enquiry, satisfy yourself and only then formally visit the family to see the potential bride/groom.
“When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. ...” (Abu Dawud).
Physical attraction is an important part of marriage. If they have the means, the bride and groom can meet to analyze the physical attraction. Only seeing the face and hands is sufficient to verify the physical attraction. They should maintain modesty/ haya/ decency. Please keep in mind DO NOT STARE and fear Allah SWT.
Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” (Tirmidhi).
He also advised men: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees” (Bukhari, Muslim).
Parents/guardians should not allow them to meet alone in a lonely place. Please make sure they meet at any public place, with a chaperone (some representative).
They should keep their modesty and only discuss relevant topics pertaining to their life e.g financial situation, their expectations, their religious practices, their compatibility with each other.
If they don’t feel the relationship will work, it’s better not to continue the conversation, say goodbye and please do not talk ill about each other or about their family.
If possible, make DUA for them, that Allah SWT make it easy for them to find their potential life partner… Ameen.
“Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious, and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).
Give religion your PRIORITY when seeking a spouse and Allah SWT will surely bless you with the rest. Ameen.
Common Mistakes to be Corrected:
1. We expect the person to stay the same all through our lives! It’s our naivety and immaturity to understand human relationships. So, make sure you choose someone who has the attitude and displays the readiness to learn and adapt. Additionally, the person who wants to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially with you and vice versa. Be ready to face changes and grow positively!
2. The partners’ values, life goals and priorities should be assessed for common grounds.
3. Often, we have expectations of qualities in a partner that we don’t possess. It is very important to cultivate/manifest in your own life before looking in others.
4. Remember you are marrying a human, always give room for mistakes and forgiveness. Know your principles and what you can and cannot tolerate, communicate effectively.
Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable. (Sura: 24 Verse:26)
Marriage is fulfilment of half of one’s Deen. It’s a very important and serious undertaking of one’s life. In Islamic tradition marriage is not just the union of two individuals but the coming together of two families. Before getting married one should make an honest effort to acquire knowledge and gain insights from the Holy Quran and the life of our Holy Prophet ﷺ. The bride/groom should try to follow the path shown by our Holy Prophet ﷺ,This is the only way to attain harmony in marriage.
1. Family is committed and will not take any more proposals for their daughter/son.
2. Time gap between engagement and nikah should be as minimal as possible considering the preparation time.
3. The union between the couple is blessed and auspicious event and Iblis doesn’t want the couple to unite in a halal way. The sooner the nikah is performed, the better for the couple and families.
But no, by your Lord, they cannot become true believers until they seek your arbitration in all matters on which they disagree among themselves, and then find not the least vexation in their hearts over what you have decided and accept it in willing submission. (4:65)
If we want to be true believers, the only way out for us is to make holy Prophet ﷺ our judge/guide and follow his instructions in all matters of life. So, lets seek guidance from the seerah/ life of Habibullah ﷺ for a successful marriage.
The holy Prophet ﷺ taught us to keep marriage as simple as possible, so there is no burden on the family of the bride. He also discouraged any kind of extravagance in marriage.
Let’s abide by his sunnah to please HIM ﷺ and earn blessings and baraka in the marriage.
1. It is preferred to perform Nikah on Friday after Asr prayer in Masjid. It’s not mandatory, you can do at any day/time and in any banquet hall.
“Announce this marriage and perform it in the masjid… (Tirmidhi).
2. The major objective of the marriage ceremony to perform openly/publicly, is to declare that from now on the bride and groom are officially married and are halal for each other. This will rule out any suspicion among the community when they see them together.
3. It’s very important that a pious person conduct the Nikah ceremony.
4. Try to invite as many scholars as possible and pious people to the Nikah ceremony to attain their blessings.
5. With a common consent of bride and groom a Wali (Legal guardian of bride) or Wakeel (representing "the bride”) should be selected and be present at the time of Nikah. Both the bride and groom should have respect for wali/wakeel. In times of need he may be approached to solve any disputes between them.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “There is no marriage without a wali and two upright witnesses… (Ibn Hibban).
The bride should preferably send a wali (her father, uncle, brother or any such elder) to represent her. The wali should be present in the gathering. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “A women should not marry herself off [i.e. without a wali] (Ibn maja). In the Hanafi school, the consent of a mature bride is necessary, and she cannot be married off without it. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “A virgin cannot be married off without her permission.” They asked as to how her permission is given. He replied, “Her silence” (Bukhari and Muslim).
6. Two witnesses (one from Bride and one from Groom side) should be present during Nikah and sign the marriage contract.
7. The marriage payment [mahr] should be stipulated beforehand and the person performing the ceremony should be informed of the amount. Mahr can be give on the day of Nikah (sunnah) or at any later day as agreed by the bride. (It is better if the Maher is not disclosed openly in public)
Narrated Ibn `Abbas: regarding the Divine Verse: O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness that you may take back part of the (Mahr) dower you have given them. (Sahi Bukhari )
8. The Sunna khutba [sermon] will be recited first by the imam performing the marriage. This khutba includes the three verses of taqwa, and a hadith or two about marriage, exhorting the couple and those present to fear Allah and attain taqwa (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ahmad).
9. After the khutba the imam will ask the representative if he gives consent to the bride’s (taking her complete name) marriage to the groom (again taking the complete name) for the stipulated amount of marriage payment in the presence of the two witnesses. If the representative consents, then the imam turns to the groom and ask him if he accepts the bride (taking her name) in his marriage for the stipulated amount of marriage payment. The groom has to reply in complete terms such as, “I accept her in my marriage” or ” I have accepted her in my marriage” or “I do marry her.” It is preferable that he say this and not just “I do” or “I accept.”
10. The imam should then recite the following du’a,
“Barak Allahu laka wa baraka alayka wa jama’a baynakuma bikhayr.”
May Allah bless you and have His blessing descend upon you and unite you in goodness.
11. The Day of Nikah (procedure performed by Shaykh/Imam or a legal authority appointed by the state)
Ask the bride
a. Talqeen (Shahada) of the Bride
Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim, Alhamdulillahi rabbil Alamin
Wa-ssalatu was-salamu 'alaSayyidinaa Muhammadin wa 'ala aalihi wa asSahbihi ajma’een. “Ash-hadu 'an la 'ilaha 'illallah wa 'ash-hadu 'anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa Rasooluh”
Raditu billahi Rabban wa bil-Islami dinan wa bi sayyidina muhammadin nabiyyina wa Rasoola
b. Is she doing Nikah out of her own will
c. Does she accept the Mahr offered by the groom
d. Does she accept the wali or Wakeel
The Shaykh asks the wakeel to recite
Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim, Alhamdulillahi rabbil Alamin
Wa-ssalatu was-salamu 'alaSayyidinaa Muhammadin wa 'ala aalihi wa asSahbihi ajma’een. “Ash-hadu 'an la 'ilaha 'illallah wa 'ash-hadu 'anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa Rasooluh”
Raditu billahi Rabban wa bil-Islami dinan wa bi sayyidina muhammadin nabiyyan wa Rasoola
Uzawwijuka ‘ala Ma Amara Allahu bihi min Imsakin bi Ma’rufin aw Tasrihun bi Ihsani “Groom Name” zawwajtuka muwakilati “Bride Name” ala Ma taradytuma Alayhi minal mahr wa Qadruhu muttafaqun alayhe ama ash Shaheedyan wa ala kitabillah wa Sunnati Rasulihi
I “Wakeel Name” have been given permission by the bride as “relationship with the bride” to offer her hand in marriage to you “Groom Name” in the presence of the two witnesses with the maher mutually agreed upon and in accordance to the Islamic sharia.
Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim, Alhamdulillahi rabbil Alamin
Wa-ssalatu was-salamu 'alaSayyidinaa Muhammadin wa 'ala aalihi wa asSahbihi ajma’een.
“Ash-hadu 'an la 'ilaha 'illallah wa 'ash-hadu 'anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa Rasooluh”
Raditu billahi Rabban wa bil-Islami dinan wa bi sayyidina muhammadin nabiyyina wa Rasoola
The Shaykh Ask the groom, You heard the proposal made by the wakeel for the Bride offering her hand in marriage in the presence of the two witnesses with the maher mutually agreed upon and in accordance to the Islamic sharia
DO YOU ACCEPT, her marriage ……………
Then the Shaykh asks the Groom to Recite …….
Kabiltu an Nikah Biha Le Nafse Be Zalik (3 times ) …
I hear by in accordance with the terms of this nikah accept her in marriage on to myself
In Islam there is a written contract signed by both bride, groom and the two representatives. It is important also to register the marriage with the local government and fulfil the legal requirements of marriage. This will enable them to recognise their marriage in their region/country and they will be able to avail the legal rights of the spouses, and other inheritance matters will also be applicable to them.
May Allah grant us the ability to simplify what Allah (SWT) and His Messenger ﷺ instructed to be simple and grant us blessing in it.
The shaykh Make DUA
Ring Exchange (Optional)
Walima/Reception is performed publicly in-order for the community to know that the bride and groom are married and are Halal for each other.
It is Sunnah to give Valima the next day or the day after once the couple have consummated their marriage or entered privacy together to provide a walima reception.
This is provided by the groom and his family and is not a responsibility of the bride’s family.
The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) provided walima after his marriages by feeding the people a goat. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ provided a walima on the occasion of the consummation of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh. He provided meat and bread to his guests (Bukhari).
On the occasion of his marriage to Safiyya bint Huyay ibn Akhtab HE ﷺ even had what may be considered a “potluck” nowadays in North America where each person/family brings some food and they all sit together and eat it (Bukhari and Muslim).
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encouraged Muslims to accept invitations to attend marriage ceremonies and marriage feasts: “…and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet”. [Ahmad & Abu Dawood]
Have Taqwa of Allah SWT (Taqwa is active consciousness of Allah (love and fear of Allah SWT)).
"Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, then such a person only speaks what's good, or be quiet." (Hadith)
No speech can be taken back once spoken; it is in the public domain. Speech has its implications.
Husband and Wife are together, they spend more time together than any other relationships.
The words have their effects, whether the person is there or not or whether the person knows or not, or whether it is true or false.
If a person speaks good things about a person in their absence, and they are not aware of the good things you say, the next time you meet that person, you will feel closeness and feel good about them. If the person is saying bad things about you, even if it is true, even if you are unaware, the next time you meet that person, you will instantly feel a distance and feel like a stranger.
Make sure to put your brain in gear before your tongue in action.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: Marriage is not just a union of two individuals, it is a union of two families.
The need for a companion is embedded in human nature, often overlooked at times leading to many situations like depression, insecurities, loneliness, etc. According to research, marriages are deemed to reduce social isolation and increase the life span. True marriages/happy marriages has many benefits, and it is beautifully described in Islam as follows:
They (your wives) are your garment, and you are a garment for them" (Sura:2 Verse:187)
“When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at them with mercy.” – [Sahih Bukhari 6:19 Tirmidhi]
“When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half”. – [At-Tirmidhi 3096]
“Marriage is my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me.” – [Sunan Ibn Majah, 1846]
1. Better Physical and Mental Health
2. Social Inclusion
3. Having a lifetime bestie.
4. Marriage increases sustenance, love, respect, caring, selflessness and forgiving factors between husband and wife.
5. You earn the Mercy of Allah (SWT) in unimaginable ways!
6. You have the privilege to build your own beautiful family.
7. Prevention from committing major sins.
8. Support financially and morally.
9. Share and care policy: share all chores in the house, care for each other's dreams/goals and ambitions and support each other to fulfill them.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.”
1. Guardian of the family: Physically, morally, and financially, however this does not mean the wife is not allowed to work or earn money. Islam does not prohibit the wife from working.
2. Pray with your wife and make dua for yourself and your wife health & happiness. Our Holy Prophet ﷺ encourages wife and husband to pray together.
3. Taking care of your wife: Fulfilling her wishes, treating her with love, affection, care, surprising her with her favourite things from time to time.
4. Respecting your wife: Take her suggestions and give her the value for her decisions, opinions, and perspectives.
5. Do not pick quarrels: Have a forgiving attitude, if there is a habit or behaviour of your wife that bothers you, speak to her in a calm and gentle manner. Do not share secrets of your household.
6. Appease her and sympathize with her: She may be having a rough day at work or home, do not be ignorant to such emotions and feelings, appease her and sympathize with her feelings.
7. Do not Pick Faults of your wife: Remember no one is perfect! Work together to bring out the best in each other, not by insulting your wife.
8. Trust your wife: When you hear something unpleasant about your wife from someone else, do not believe without clarifying, ignore the slanderous talks as this breaks trust and relationships!
9. Be Loyal and Faithful to your wife.
10. Be Grateful: A wife Islamically is not required to do household chores, many women do it out of their own will, be grateful and show gratitude from time to time for all the sacrifices they make.
11. Sociability: Husband and wife should observe a fine etiquette with each other publicly and privately.
12. Do not indulge in spouse-centric relationship, give your wife her space and let her enjoy doing things she loves. This will make the relationship stronger and secure.
13. Stay united in front of children, do not sanction anything your spouse refused.
1. Communication is the key: Most men do not have the habit of explaining the actions and they are very poor at emotional expression. It’s up to you to get the keys to their heart.
2. Men are like onions, try to peel them one layer at a time and you will see the beauty hidden in them.
3. Do not misjudge: Women usually indulge in deep thinking about husband’s triggering actions. When an action is triggering, it is better to clarify by having a healthy discussion instead of making your own conclusions.
4. Let go of things, do not hold on to the past or your husband’s past mistakes, forgive with all your heart and make dua for Allah SWT to open your heart and fill your heart with love and respect for each other.
5. Sociability: Husband and wife should observe a fine etiquette with each other publicly and privately.
6. Treat husband’s family with respect and love, try to bind the family together.
7. Give your husband his space, do not indulge in spouse-centric relationship. Let him have his own time doing the things he loves.
8. Stay united in front of children, do not sanction anything your spouse refused.
This is a very important topic that needs to be discussed and often neglected. Nowadays we prefer nuclear families which consists of couple and their children, not many of us live with our in-laws. This topic does not only point to in-laws per se, but the 'elderly' in our community in general. Islam encourages a beautiful bound community irrespective of race, gender, age etc. And each of us have a role towards ourselves, our families, our community and finally our society at large.
Every parent wants the best for their children and wants them to lead a better life. This is normal for every parent to think that way, but this tendency leads to lot of interference of the parents/family members doing more harm than good. The second biggest issue is the generation gap and the approach of the new generation towards life. We wanted to put some humble requests for the parents/family members to facilitate the marriage process and help nurture & strengthen the relation between the newly married couples.
1. The younger generation has slightly different approach towards life, give them some space to do things on their own way. They will do some mistakes and will learn from them.
2. Your new daughter-in-law/Son-in-law is like you daughter/son, they are individuals with gifted unique characteristics/habits/ and have their own way of doing things. They will bring some new ideas to the family. Welcome them and do not try to impose your choices on them.
3. Treat them with love, compassion, respect and give them time to settle. By doing this, they will understand you, your likes/dislikes, and your needs and this will lead to development of respect and love for you in their hearts.
4. Be patient with them and Allah SWT will reward you with all the good things that you have never thought about. InShaAllah…..Ameen
5. Criticism acts like poison in any relationship both in public and private. If you feel something need to be corrected, the time and attitude in which it’s presented matters the most. PLEASE see the right time and be humble in correcting/suggesting something you feel that is not right.
6. Allah SWT has blessed every individual differently. Please do not compare the bride/groom with anyone in the family/relatives.
It’s a great blessing of Allah SWT that you are blessed with the parents who are living with you and are part of your marriage. We totally understand there is a generation gap, and they may be having a slightly different approach which might not align with you and your spouse. It’s a great reward from Allah SWT for being patient and kind towards you older parents and show your love /respect towards your younger family members. If possible, please try to consider the things mentioned below.
1. Your parents have a certain way and only certain things they like/dislike. They developed their way over long period of time. It’s not easy for them to change it overnight. Be patient and kind to them, even if you do not agree to them. With time both of you will adapt to each other.
2. They may have some disagreement towards a thing/action you do. This does not mean that you raise your voice on them, choose a more polite and humble way to put your disagreement and Allah SWT will put mercy in their hearts.
3. Allah and his Habib ﷺ love the people who can control their anger, even if it not their fault. Be patient and give them some time, they will eventually understand you.
4. Love is the essence of life for any relationship. Now that Allah SWT has blessed you with your better half, your time, love and attention are divided among them as compared to the full attention and time your parents/family members used to have of yours. This may make them feel that the distance between them is increasing and they start to interfere in your life just to get your time and attention. PLEASE make sure they don’t feel neglected.
"Some people look for perfection in their marriage partners. Perfection exists only in Heaven. To survive in this life, you need patience."
"Marriage is an order of God Almighty, and it is the way of the Prophets, also, from the first man Adam, and the first woman Eve. They made their marriage in paradise, and therefore Allah Almighty gives those who get married a sweet scent from Paradise so that they will be happy. "
"Always, when your wife is angry with you, bring her something that she likes. You must know, all of you: don't hurt your wives; Don't hurt your wives! Make them always pleased with you…"
"…If our wives did not serve as a hindrance, all of us would fall into hell. No one would take us out except our ladies, for they are our protection. So, when you go to work, take her hand [he stimulates kissing hand] and do the same at night, also."
"Don't be angry, then you will be a reasonable person and people will love you and respect you, then Allah (SWT) will love you and respect you."
"To the men, especially those who are religious - before looking right and left, look at yourself. How do you view women? Your night prayers, your daily fasts, your memorization of scripture, your charity, your pilgrimage, your knowledge and your teaching, your struggles for the sake of God-everything you do-won't get you to a point where you are something before God if you don't let all of that pass through the gateway of benevolence to women"
"The person who possess real love in their heart can never be defeated, learn to forgive"
"Marriage should be filled with so much beauty and affection that you should be able to talk day and night and still have millions of more things to say to each other, and if all of those words were placed together, they'd still be unable to sum up the Muhammadan love that your hearts contain for one another".
"Love is independence, love is freedom. Fall in love and let your love liberate you."
You will remain a perfect bachelor if you are in search of a perfect partner
Put your mind in gear before you speak. Be mindful of your speech as speech has its implications.
“Often love between two people intensifies not because of beauty or some advantage, but because of sheer spiritual affinity.”
“The hypocrite looks for faults; the believer looks for excuses.”
"Marriage is a means to attain spiritual growth, to learn selflessness, and to cultivate love and compassion."
Al-Ghazali emphasizes the importance of mutual respect, trust, and cooperation in marriage, as well as the need for spiritual growth and self-refinement.
“When we practice loving, kindness and compassion we are the first ones to profit.”
“Marriage is a sacred bond, a union of two souls. It's a journey of love, trust, and mutual growth."
"Marriage is a reflection of the divine love between the Creator and the created. It's a sacred trust, a bond of love and loyalty."
Ibn Arabi highlights the spiritual dimensions of marriage, encouraging couples to cultivate love, respect, and devotion.
Don’t be too fussy and have a long checklist of things. We need to be looking for people who have a basic goodness, humility and most importantly quality of the soul
"Marriage is a means to attain spiritual purification, to learn self-control, and to cultivate love and compassion."
Abdul Qadir Jilani highlights the importance of spiritual growth, self-refinement, and mutual respect in marriage.
“In Islam, the marriage is an act of worship it’s not a social utility. When you have sabr, Allah (SWT) rewards you, not your spouse “
Allah will bless the marriage of the one who marries to lower their gaze and protect themselves from falling into sin.
Men, do not feel intimidated by strong women. Remember Khadija (RA) was a strong and self-assured woman. The Prophet (SWS) was never intimidated by strong women. HE (SWS) encouraged their strengths and Khadija (RA) made him feel easy with strong women.
When you love Allah (SWT), HE will help you be away from haram. But when he loves you, He will keep haram away from you.
We have the concept of romantic love that’s built on desires and whims, and anything build on just desires and whims will fade away. You are not going to like 100% everything about that person, it’s the things you have patient with that allow to stay in love with that person. You overlook their faults. We constantly should make that choice and make the love positive which makes the love grow. Allah says in the Quran, He brings married couples together in Mawadda and Rahmah, love and mercy. Mawadda (love) is for good time and Rehma (Mercy) is for bad times.
Prioritizing things that really matter like a set of principles and values are the core tenants of any healthy relationship.
“Be expectant of the good- in your life and in creation- and you’ll find it -But on God’s terms, not yours “